Jonathan's father officiating his wedding in 2015 (courtesy of JB)
When the voice of legend speaks, many times you must endure the drudgery of opening your heart and mind to listen. If you make the initial effort though, you will often find that the truth and the voice of legend embody many similar qualities. So much, they could be compared to two lovers on a beach walking hand in hand with a backdrop of incomparable beauty. This story is worth a second look, or an extra set of ears.
Tonight is Jon Burlingame’s birthday, he rounded a couple of us up to join him and some family to a dinner out to celebrate, we’re headed to Dixie’s on Oahu. Jon’s father and brother meet us at the restaurant. Don sits down at the head of the table, we didn’t know how to take his father at first but he and Jon chatted comfortably enough. The rest of Johnny's family is on the mainland taking care of family business as they call it.
Don tells us:
“I had ten children that I raised on this island.”
“Really,” I say surprised.
“Six boys and four girls.”
“Wow”
“Yes……. big family,” he says. “We moved here in 86’ and have been here ever since.”
“Where were you guys before Hawaii?”
“Oregon….. little town with a populace of 300 people.”
Jon is sitting next to me shaking his head, as if my asking questions are breaching a dam, a dam with enough water to take over the entire evening. Jon changes the subject quickly and starts talking to his dad about army business. I let them chat for a bit, I’m completely intrigued by this man who successfully raised ten children on the island of Oahu.
“So how.......” before I finish my sentence, Don says:
“I worked 80 hour weeks for thirteen years.”
I chew on that for a second.
“You should’ve seen the house we built,” he adds. “Seven bedrooms, three bathrooms.”
“I’m sure it was a lot of hard work,” I indulge. “Did you guys live in a mad house or what?”
“An animal house,” Jon's brother offers.
Don continues - “we always had a lot of people over, we lived right next to a halfway house so my wife was always inviting folks over for dinner.”
I sat amazed, Jon continued shaking his head – as if to say ‘thanks Gabe…... you breached the DAM.’
“She’d cook a dinner for 25 people” his father continued. “And I’m not talking just food for the masses, we’re talking about really good stuff!”
Jon's brother nodding in agreement as if he could smell the good food from so many years ago.
Jon and I worked together on deployment, and what a stubborn guy--- but what a huge heart! I was always getting angry with him because he’d get diagnosed with severe back injuries by our PA, and the next day I’d see him in the gym on a decline bench with a 45lb plate across his chest doing sit-ups. I’d give him a piece of my mind, and then he’d go on this tirade about how his dad was superhuman, had thrown out his back 49 times (really 5-8 times) and never needed a doctor, or surgery, and had been in construction in the outdoors every day of his life. One story in particular sticks out; he explained a time when his father and another guy were carrying a bathtub weighing hundreds of pounds down some stairs and the weight shifted falling down onto his father sandwiching him to the concrete. Completely collapsing one of his discs in his lower back. After getting the tub off him he tells his co-worker: “I need a back adjustment from the chiropractor….. I’ll be back.” The chiropractor tells him he broke his back and he’ll need a referral to a doctor for surgery where he’ll take a short 4-month break to recover. Deciding against it his father goes back to work the next day. His father’s ability to recover Jon felt traced back to his background as a bodybuilder in his younger years. After having repeated assessments by medical specialists years later, the only thing they could surmise is that his Don's lower back development is what fused parts of bone back together after injury keeping him functional. There’s parts of his spine that are completely missing, discs that have been disintegrated. Iron will, a true to life bad-ass not in select theaters.
On the way home from dinner Jon says, “when I say we were poor I’m not exaggerating. I didn’t have shoes growing up. You don’t need them till’ seventh grade, that or a T-shirt at schools here in Hawaii.”
“You gotta be kidding me,” I tell him. “You had guys going to class in board shorts, without a T-shirt and barefoot at the schools here.”
“You have to remember,” Jon says, “the school we went to in Kailua was very poor. So shoes, and even T-shirts weren’t required for the boys until 7th grade.”
“Whooooooooaaaa” everyone in the car was in Hawaii awe…
The Burlingame’s contracting and construction management company became very successful. While we were still at dinner Don explained how they managed projects in Kenya and Uganda. Building schools, medical aid facilities, and providing fresh water. One project in particular was about $32,000 and they built a school with a medical aid facility: “You got these super tall tribal leaders,” Don says. “They’re like the hunters and warriors of the camp. They run fourteen miles to work and fourteen miles back every day—barefoot.”
“Whooooooooaaa” everyone at the table was in Kenya awe.
“This one evening a pack of lions ramble right into the center of our camp!! There’s a lion scratching its back alongside the spine of a tent just across from ours! So the tribal leaders get up and chase the lions with machetes!! They chase the lions out of the camp! ‘The lions fear us,’ they tell us,” Don was astounded by that statement. As we sat at the table it felt like info was being compressed and compacted into my wind tunnel brain. I knew immediately the cause of Jon's embarrassment – because his Dad had some of the best stories that would captivate anyone within earshot.
I couldn’t stop asking him questions on the way home, “Why did they have ten kids?? Did your father just start making a ton of money?” I was completely flustered.
“No,” he replied. “We were always in debt, just until a few years ago…. my parents just genuinely loved each other.”
I asked him about Kenya, he was about 18 at the time and at the last minute his father had raised the $6,000 dollars to take him along on the trip.
“There were these Muslim rebels going around slaughtering people. In fact the tribe we were working with had been ravaged and killed by the rebels, mostly all males of military age.”
“Why” I asked him.
“Because they’re Christian. So these Muslim soldier types come in and just kill people.”
“And you guys are there while this is going on?”
“Yeah, basically while we’re there these UN soldiers stop in at our camp… and they mention they’re expecting an attack and we may have to leave.”
“God that’s insane dude.”
“Yeah, then all of a sudden a week later they come back, and real calm they tell us— ‘the threat’s been neutralized.’”
“Wow…. sounds like a lot of work that Special Forces and Seals are doing there in Africa.”
“Oh yeah, all kinds of SF are working out there. But get this, right after they tell us that—like a day or two later we’re out on the road and we’re passing all these UN soldiers, and we pass their Bradley vehicles. And there’s all these black bags piled up.”
“My God.”
“They just slaughtered like 200 of those Muslim rebels with Bradleys and had them in body bags.”
One of the times Don arrived to Africa he had a shotgun held to his chest and was questioned who he was and what he was doing there in Kenya by a local. Oddly enough, this was happening while a cup of coffee was being made for him. Don pointed to a nearby building, “Do you see that school?”
“Yes,” the man answered.
“I built that school”
The man set his shotgun down, “that school was built free of charge. Why did you do it?”
“Because there is great need here."
The man gave him a hug.
We had a couple more laughs before calling it a night and Jon says to me:
“Bravo…… I hope you don’t get offended”
“What’s that, “ I say bracing myself.
“You remind me of Pastor Perry, this guy at my church in Kailua growing up.”
“Really,” I ask. “Is he a stud…... does he get chicks.”
“Actually, I’ve got a funny story about something like that.”
“Really.”
“Yeah, he was in Puerto Rico too, he was in the navy like twenty some years. After his trip to Kenya he decided when he retired, because of that he was going to dedicate the rest of his life to ministry. Anyways, he told me about this really gorgeous girl he met while he was in PR. She was this amazing Spanish girl; you know from Spain.”
“Yes, well most Spanish girls...... are from Spain.”
“So he’s all into this girl, and her family is living over in the US. They end up getting engaged and he buys her a plane ticket to go visit her family before they get married. Three weeks later they’re talking on the phone and she says, “I need to talk to you about something.”
“What” he says.
“I can’t be with you anymore…. I’ve decided I’m going to commit myself to a life of celibacy and join the convent.”
“Ahhhhhh,” Green says. “I don’t like that story.”
“Yea, neither do I Jon,” I grumble. “You’re saying I inspire women to a celibate life. You realize this is hanging over my head now like a dark cloud for the rest of my life.”
Jon laughed.
At least somebody did.
